Too Flexible?

by | Nov 15, 2016 | About Me, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Have you ever met someone that is so flexible they are actually a pain? Or are you that person?

I am a planner by nature which means that I constantly have a plan, am creating a plan, and dreaming of more plans at all times – okay so maybe not quite that, but close. Actually I always do have a plan for my day or time and replan as necessary as the day proceeds.
However, the members of my family are not planners unless it’s something big like a vacation or something that requires planning to accomplish and my husband does not have a planning bone in his body even when it comes to big things. He is very go with the flow and he just thinks it will all work out.
Obviously you can see how I had to develop flexibility to survive. My other option was to live perpetually angry or as a hermit! Therefore I developed several coping methods. The biggest two being never procrastinate anything and always be open to changes to my plan/plan for changes. These are almost the same, but you won’t believe me so let me explain.
So if I rigidly stuck to my plans which I could probably get away with now that I am an adult, but I would miss out on lots of fun stuffs with family and friends because they just do not plan out as far as I do. If I chose to procrastinate until the last possible time to complete tasks assuming that I had no conflict because I know my schedule. Ha! I would routinely either miss important things or miss my deadline because something came up – something always comes up! Instead the moment a task hits my radar I put it on my schedule for the next open slot and bump lesser priorities to make room. This way if something comes up I can easily put it off if need be, but only if it is something I really want to do. If I’m not keen then I have a wonderful excuse – I have to get this task accomplished! Now let me be clear this plan to do it early unless something better comes along is not my way to procrastinate with impunity. I do not push off this newly scheduled task unless something really amazing or truly important comes along and no someone wanting to veg together or a netflix marathon is not either of these things. I will happily put it off for a surprise guest to town or a surprise opportunity that does not come along frequently as in again this month. This normally makes it so that I rarely have anything critical on my plate that must be done now and almost never miss out on something really keen or critical no matter how late of notice I get in regards to zee plan!

However, recently I have found myself backed into a corner by too flexible people. Now and then I will be needing to coordinate with someone for something – common endeavor right? Normally you share what available times you each have and then pick the time that works for each of you. Or if one is open and the other busy you just ask the busy person when they want to do X. Then the issue arrives when you are both open and one is too flexible and refuses to decide/agree to something. You both have many possible times that work and they just keep making suggestions even when you agree with one. They are trying to be helpful, but instead they force you to keep open and/or open up your entire schedule in the hopes that you can make this plan work or you just give up and say nevermind. I have found the first route is what I get forced into if it is a too flexible client because I hate disappointing or having to tell a client no, but when dealing with this issue with my friends or family I definitely normally go with the latter because I just get too frustrated with the process.

I am curious – How have you dealt with plans or the need for flexibility? Which way do you deal with the too flexible? Is it like one of mine or have you thought of something all together different? Please share – I would love to hear about it. I am fascinated in how people think about things and how they react to different situations!

Many Blessings,